Oh great

The city that I live in is like increasingly alienating and I'm starting to wonder if maybe resenting where you're from is a cop-out or like the protocol for people who are unhappy or in a liferut (like myself) or whatever. Or maybe there is some astrological explanation. Like maybe some planetary position is the real scapegoat. I've narrowed it down to these 2 things. I typically prosper when things are against me. I feel estranged in the punk scene I came up in. My sister and soulmate and best friend lives far away. Most of the people I feel like I have anything in common with anymore live far away. I have more frustrating creative energy right now than I even know what to do with. I am sort of just sitting here, languishing in a lethargic cesspool of sadness. So either I am on the brink of something big or I am in for a rude awakening. I need a dose of positivity so that I can totally believe that it's the former. I mean, it would make sense right?

Anyways, I'm going on a self-imposed artists' retreat at my parent's lakehouse this weekend. Either I'll stare at the water for 48 hours and let these sad thoughts float around in my head or I'll write and record an entire solo record with a synthesizer, acoustic guitar and tambourine. This time I am hoping its the latter.