Friday, January 21, 2011

milkshakes at coffee shops. facebook chat. rebounds. emotional trauma. trying hard not to talk to you. untoasted bagels. no money. verge of tears. heart in throat. red wine mouth. rooster alarm clock. people named chad or amber. disappointing people. ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends finding new boyfriends and girlfriends. consistent self-medication. full moons. hormones. spaghetti dinner. every single fucking person in your life having more important things to do. more important people to be with. giving you those photos. being a hypocrite. getting whats coming. karma. desperation. crying at work. learning how to change. everything in excess. over-stimulation. roy orbison resonating. guilt trips. birmingham. punk rock fascism. talking to distracted people. having no best friend. its shit. its all really just shit.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

fuji apples

CAPRICORN - December 22nd - January 20th
You're becoming more aware of your strengths and weaknesses. Facing up to your phobias is scary, but necessary if you're going to realise your full potential. Be honest about how you've used money, sex, alcohol, drugs, or status symbols to numb your pain. By stripping these things away, you'll be forced to deal with your feelings. You're strong enough to face the truth of the situation and overcome any obsessions or addictions that are holding you prisoner.

So this is eerily appropriate. My behavior lately has been excessive and there are probably things I'm not "dealing with" or whatever but my real problem is that I don't exactly know what "dealing with" even means. How do you "deal with" your problems? I have no pending circumstances with another person or anything. I'm not stringing anyone along. I'm not pretending to feel worse than I do or pretending to feel better than I do. My recent indiscretions (if you want to call them that) feel like they were brought on by a wave of inexplicable melancholy. Or seasonal depression. And you don't really "deal with" that. You just let it pass. I think.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

tired of being...

I think lately I've withheld myself and thus become socially inept. I had a show last night with the Gift. They were wonderful. I didn't know how to be so I got drunk.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011


i just finished the waxahatchee full length. 11 songs written and recorded in 7 days of icy solitude. thanks a lot winter. more info soon.