today

fuji apples

CAPRICORN - December 22nd - January 20th
You're becoming more aware of your strengths and weaknesses. Facing up to your phobias is scary, but necessary if you're going to realise your full potential. Be honest about how you've used money, sex, alcohol, drugs, or status symbols to numb your pain. By stripping these things away, you'll be forced to deal with your feelings. You're strong enough to face the truth of the situation and overcome any obsessions or addictions that are holding you prisoner.

So this is eerily appropriate. My behavior lately has been excessive and there are probably things I'm not "dealing with" or whatever but my real problem is that I don't exactly know what "dealing with" even means. How do you "deal with" your problems? I have no pending circumstances with another person or anything. I'm not stringing anyone along. I'm not pretending to feel worse than I do or pretending to feel better than I do. My recent indiscretions (if you want to call them that) feel like they were brought on by a wave of inexplicable melancholy. Or seasonal depression. And you don't really "deal with" that. You just let it pass. I think.

tired of being...

I think lately I've withheld myself and thus become socially inept. I had a show last night with the Gift. They were wonderful. I didn't know how to be so I got drunk.

snow

i just finished the waxahatchee full length. 11 songs written and recorded in 7 days of icy solitude. thanks a lot winter. more info soon.

swim

it catches up, scares me to death
that you're not there
and it seems like i've burned every bridge from here to delaware
and i'm sleeping alone and i'm dreaming about october
when he leaves me alone on the stairs
and i don't care

sitting real still, its a choice or its a hunt
and you're kissing me like you can anytime you want
and i hide..
and i make myself out to be special but i'm not

i'm swimming slow, you're up ahead
you forget me
and i think about 20 different ways to say i'm sorry
and i fabricate a half, something to fall into my lap
but that was dumb
i float on my back and i hear nothing

dear birmingham

according to my horoscope I may be being manipulated but...

ITS NOT A COMMUNITY IF ONE PERSON IS IN CHARGE

boring saturday

recorded a cover of "the book of love" by the magnetic fields
http://www.mediafire.com/?zns8nwl0sr7fxh9